


Regret

by sdwolfpup



Category: due South
Genre: Episode: s01e17 The Deal, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-12
Updated: 2006-05-12
Packaged: 2018-11-06 23:46:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11046849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sdwolfpup/pseuds/sdwolfpup
Summary: There hadn't been room in his head for doubt





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

> Set after "The Deal"

  
_Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable._ \- Sydney Harris

Ray twisted the key around in his hands, felt the cool smoothness of it, ran his finger over the jagged teeth. He wanted to unlock the drawer, pull out his gun, and sit by the front door all night, watching for Zuko. Ray's family slept all around him in the big house, oblivious to the danger he'd put them in that evening. It was stupid to regret that now - after he'd already left Frankie bleeding on the ground - but he sure as hell hadn't thought about it before. There hadn't been room in his head for doubt; even the smallest reason would have had his foot sliding to the gas pedal and driving him and Benny the hell out of there. Fraser hadn't said a thing when Ray was pacing back and forth in the quiet police station, trying to work it all out in his head. He'd just let Ray talk himself into doing one of the dumbest things he'd ever done, all to make himself feel better for not being some hero of a fifteen-year old.

Fraser hadn't said anything at all until Ray had gotten back in the car. Not when Ray shut off the Riv, not when he first handed Fraser his gun, not when Ray sat and stared at the gym, holding his breath. Benny had been silent, with his dark eyes and his split lip and the occasional hitch in his breathing from the bruised ribs. And when Ray had dropped Benny off at his apartment, and had insisted on walking him up to the door, he hadn't said anything then either. That was when Ray really started getting scared. Because, fuck, his own life was his to throw around and yeah, he didn't want to die, but it was his choice to make. If Fraser were really at risk, if there was even the tiniest thought in that Mountie head that he might need backup just getting to his apartment, then that meant other people might, too. People like Frannie and Ma and even Tony. And Frankie may not retaliate right away, but someday, Ray was going to get one of them hurt a lot more than a split lip.

Ray laid the key down on the end table and shut off the light. He blinked against the sudden dark, until the city lights coming in through his open window were enough to make out the dim shadows of the end of his bed, the dresser, the door. He wouldn't let anything happen to them. He'd helped Joey Paducci, right? And maybe somewhere Marco Matroni was having a little bit better of an evening, if you believed in karma or whatever. Ray stared hard into the darkness and thought, _Let him come._


End file.
